If I don’t write something here soon I fear I’ll never write anything here again.
But the thing I want to write about nobody wants to read. I don’t want anyone to read it. I especially don’t want my family to read it in case I write it wrong.
But I want to write it so maybe I’ll go do it somewhere else.
Even if nobody ever reads it.
I lost my sister at the beginning of this month. And that sounds so selfish to even say…. “I lost…”. My nieces lost their Mum, my parents lost their youngest daughter. And lost is far too gentle a word anyway, such a stupid word, like if we only tried a bit harder we’d find her. But we’re all struggling to use the “d” word or the “k” word, so lost will have to do.
I have so many things I want to write somewhere, partly for myself, partly for when my nieces are grown and wonder if their memories are right. But for now all I can say is I lost my sister.
And it’s shit.
The advice bit: if you haven’t already done so, make a will.