I’ve got roughly 25 parties under my belt. Between birthdays and Halloweens over the past 16 years, it’s at least that.
Yesterday I had to do something I’ve never even considered in 16 years and 25 parties.
I uninvited a child.
Can you imagine?
Uninviting a 5 year old?
To a kids party?
I’ve always thought of myself as not too shabby at the kids party thing. They always seem to enjoy our house parties more than the big organised do-dahs. And I’ve had some real characters traipsing over my threshold over the years.
I’ve never countenanced my children leaving out one, or not inviting the child they’ve had a recent spat with. When they were little it was all or nothing. Suck it up, get over your differences and to be honest, when they’re little they forget anyway. There’s no real malice in them.
And I still pretty much sing from that hymn sheet.
There’s no real malice in a 5 year old.
They are products of their environment.
And some environments are just toxic.
So whilst I’d like to look past the little boy who spent half an hour driving my family to the very limits of our patience with his abusive taunts whilst his Mum sat listening and working her way through her second bottle of wine… I can’t. Whilst I’d really like to stretch my understanding and compassion far enough to see past the jeers he yelled at us as we left the restaurant, I can’t.
He broke my little boy’s heart for half an hour and boasted about it to anyone who would listen. In front of him. Whilst his Mum sat on her arse and ignored it.
When I’d had enough I walked over to her and told her the invitation was withdrawn. I didn’t trust myself to say anymore.
I’m completely ill equipped to deal with these situations.
What the hell are you supposed to do when sitting in a restaurant being taunted by a 5 year old whose parent will not intervene?
Who knows, they may even still turn up. The parents are separated and it will depend on who has him that weekend and whether she passes the message on.
I cannot take responsibility for looking after this child for 2 minutes, never mind 2 hours.
I think you did the right thing, but that poor child. He is but a product of his environment obviously.
Blimey. Sounds like a bit of a nightmare. I can’t see that you could have done anything different though.
Definitely the right thing. It’s one thing a child behaving badly, but quite another when the parent doesn’t do anything about it. It’s the parent’s fault entirely that you can’t have that child at your child’s birthday party – I hope she realises that. And no amount of compassion or sympathy for that child is enough to ruin your own child’s party. I’m with you all the way!
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Well done. I don’t think there’s anything else you could have done. Don’t waste a minute feeling bad.
well done you! your first responsibility is to your own child and you could not condone his being bullied in your presence. I’m with Ellen Arnison – don’t waste a minute feeling bad.
Hi, I have a question about your blog but can’t find an email address, could you please get in touch with me at
colleen.reid@mumdadbabygroup.co.uk
Thanks,
Colleen
Duh – I must have lost my Contact page somewhere transferring back and forth – must fix that….
Good on you!!!! Poor kid – product of a crap environment.
I think you did the right thing. Let’s see what happens now!
i would have lasted about 5 minits so you did verry well and i would have told his mum exactly what the problem was and maybe said one glass of wine is more than enough wile with a small child
“I uninvited a child.”
Looks so mean to me, though upon looking unto this post, I understand clearly why you did that.:)